One day a group of Traveller men had had a good drink at the public and one of them was really drunk! So they took him into a Tattoo shop in Chatham and got a blackbird tattooed on his forehead. So from that day on everybody knew who "Blackbird" was!
IT WASN'T ME SIR!
Another time, one of the chavvies went choring cannis' (stealing chickens), but he got his head stuck in a hole in the chicken coop. The farmer fetched a policeman and when he came the boy, (still with his head stuck) said, “It wasn’t me Sir!” Phoebe Knott
WOODBINES IN THE ODEON
When I was young, me and four of my cousins used to go to the pictures at the Odeon and would buy a packet of five woodbines between us, which meant one fag each. One day we were all sitting enjoying ourselves, brought out our fags and lit up. I didn't know it, but my uncle was sitting at the back of us, one of my cousins tried to warn me, but before he could, suddenly my uncle clipped me round the ear so hard, it knocked me into the woman next to me!
I ran out as quick as I could, caught the first bus home and my aunt was sitting on the wagon steps when I got there. I told her I'd been smoking and hid in my bed up in the wagon. When my uncle came home, he threatened to beat me and promised to thrash me in the morning. We were working in the fields next day on sugar beet and when I saw he was holding a big stick, I was terrified to come out. Eventually, as I walked into the kitchen tent just a short distance from the wagon, he grabbed me by the arm and told me that he’d let me off that day, but there would be no pictures for me from then on and if I defied him he would beat me to death! So from then on, whenever my cousins went to the pictures, I had to stay behind with Granny helping her to make pegs - and I never smoked in front of my uncle again!
One day, me and my cousin Jackie were scrumping, climbing to the top of an apple tree, when we saw Mr. Amos the gavver coming. He was our local policeman and he told Jackie to come down ,and when he did he really pasted him. When I saaw that, I wouldn't come down, so Mr. Amos put his overcoat down on the grass at the base of the tree, saying he'd wait until I did! I waited a couple of hours and eventually he went to sleep, so I climbed down as quick as I could and ran like hell - but whenever he saw me after that he used to say "I'll get you before long" - but he never did!!